"at the airport"

he told me, are you available to pick me up on thursday?

my reaction? I was stunned. nervous. I felt like I had this list of things to do before I see him, in order to maximize the visit to its full potential. And I had a work schedule.

he was messing with me. I was unamused. I would kill the love of my life for that cruelty! well not really kill, that's an exaggeration. I'd at least hit him, even though it probably will have no impact.

yet hours later, my thoughts were racing all over the place.

happy.excited.anxious.full of dread.

then I figured out OHHH this is what Dr. Gill was talking about, mild uncategorized bipolar. racing thoughts. shopping sprees.

then I began to think that distance only made our love grow stronger & showed us how important we were for one another. such love has a potential for growth

we have to pass through the two hardest tests on the spirtual road: the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not be disappointed with what you encounter.

it was something I wanted obviously, to see spudgy. it didn't matter the context of it happened. It didn't have to be perfect. and I thought to myself, given the chance while in bed as he's falling asleep, I would just kiss him & say "sleep well my love"

I imagined the very moment we would see each other for the first time.

"Hello," he says.

"I've been waiting for you," I reply.

Then he would embrace me, and I'd rest my head upon him, and begin to cry. Simply because of human touch

So with that very thought in mind, I impulsively decided to purchase a ticket to Mississippi in November for his birthday. See how he likes it, "hey can you pick me up at the airport today?"