at every opportunity

I once had a patient who told me "when it comes to people you love, tell them so at every opportunity..."

I reflect back on that moment, pondering if he laid in the hospital bed thinking "shoulda, coulda, woulda, but didn't".

At some point along the way in the past year or two, with all of life's troubles and sufferings that were served up on a plastic plate, I began telling all my friends - family ... "I love you". It ended in every conversation, and if there was some sort of zanny thing I appreciated about that person.

With Troy, from the very beginning, he's generous in his affections towards me. He's never been afraid of his feelings. At any moment of the day, countless times a day, I feel loved. I know I'm loved by a boy from Biloxi. This proclamation of love -luub , doesn't just occur at the end of every conversation, or at some zanny crazy thing we appreciate about one another. A text, a phone call, an email, a photo. I've never had the urge to hold back my feelings to say 'I love you', which is certainly a transformation from the me of old. There is a small 5% of me that wonders if our love fest has to do with 1000+ miles between us. That its required as a survival mechanism to give us the strength to maintain our relationship. It's silly and pure idiocy, or as spudgy would tell me "its because you're a girl!" It's not necessary for survival, its because we do love each other. Since we can't help it, we can't help but say it ... at every moment possible.