melissa the ass

I've made an ass out of myself. a huge ass.

this is what happens when you drink 8 coronas, on a 5'2 108lbs frame, who's been subsisting on 500 calories for 2 weeks.

this is what happens when you're drunk, alone in a condo, and emotionally hurt demanding answers.

I know that I've left so many voicemails that I literally filled his inbox to capacity.

I know that after I've left these long voicemails I started texting incoherently.

I know that Delta was handling my flight cancellation to Biloxi in a polite no complications about cancellations.

I know that I was handling the flight cancellation with emotional complications and inappropriateness (hello see above sentences).

I know that this sort of tirade has never happened to me before. That I'm normally aloof and calculating, when emotional it merely hurts a bit.

I know Troy and I are alike in many ways besides craziness.

I know when Troy and I are angry or hurt, we're just silent.

I know that when I'm pushed while angry, annoyed, or hurt, I'll resolve to be even more silent.

I know that I'm doing this to another person, who won't leave me alone due to her own insecurity and persistent stupidity.

I know I do NOT like to be given an ultimatum.

I know its entirely possible Troy is the same way with the above 3 statements.

I know that I could apologize, and try to explain and fix things.

I know he could do what I do, be silent.

I know I'm many things.

And I know I'm a huge humiliated embarrassed ass. SHIT.