December 8th - ave maria

ever since I was a child at st. matthew's ... and yearly pilgrimages to Our Lady of Consolation in Ohio ... there's always been one song that breathes life into my soul. I feed off it, I sing it with as much energy and passion entirely possible.

ave maria

no matter what version. a modern up take, a traditional church hymn, latin. it resonates to the depth of my being, giving praise to the Mother.

and this version, sang to my heart. It reminds me of Troy. A modern version from Beyonce.

She was lost
In so many different ways
Out in the darkness with no guide
I know the cost of a losing hand
Never for the grace of God
Oh I, I found heaven on earth
You were my last, my first
And then I hear this voice inside
Ave Maria
I've been alone
When I'm surrounded by friends
How could the silence be so loud
But I still go home knowing that I've got you
There's only us when lights go down
You are my heaven on earth
You are my hunger, my thirst
I always hear this voice inside
Singing Ave Maria
Sometimes love can come and pass you by
While your busy making plans
Suddenly hit you and then you realize
It's out of your hands
Baby you got to understand
You are my heaven on earth
You are my last, my first
And then I hear this voice inside
Ave Maria




last month, I went to evening mass on a monday for Immaculate Concepcion. my grandmother's birthday, shared also with my grandfather's death anniversary.

Initially, I was up front having arrived hrs before in search of something.

When I moved, something compelled me to stay there - just move a few rows back.
Normally I don't choose to sit with most people, I prefer the back portion of the church amongst candles, the fountain, the children. It distracts me.

after mass, the elderly couple in front of me turned around to speak with me. the gentleman asked my name, and I gave it. under ordinary circumstances, I give an abbreviated version or a fake name. he held my hands, and spoke of what a pleasure it was to praise her in prayer in my presence. and what an incredible gift I've been given with my voice. his wife had tears in her eyes. I smiled and said, I hope she answers them during this hour or grace.

I recall, a similar experience when I was younger at St. Matt's - only I tried to out-sing a friend. At the age of 9 I had a superiority complex, and I could not hear myself converse to the Virgin. when complimented, I felt shame.

This time though was different, remembering my grandmother and celebrating the Virgin Mary ... this elderly couple, gave me hope. For I have the hope in what they represent. The lasting love they share for each other and for God. I became inspired by their love, and that with God's blessing Troy and I would continually be blessed for many years to come in each other's presence. We've already been so blessed to have found one another for whatever reason that may be, he and I both feel it ... say it.

AHH, I'M TEARING UP CRYING LIKE THE GIRL I AM!!