how I wept over Troy's offering

Spudgy told me something a few months ago, I couldn't stop feeling nervous and weeping. I wanted our honesty, and I felt like I was lying (even though I wasn't). Just harboring a secret. I told him what happened to me November 2008-February 2009. I gave him the option that I never gave Matt or James (nothing like casual disinterest or neglect of those who were once important and close to me). To stay or run.

Troy told me this, even before I even could spew out the words. Though he attempted to guess, and reassured me I could speak this whenever I was ready. It made me weep even more. I took a screen shot of it. Keep it frozen in memory. What's more, I never told him that sometimes I make it my screen saver. It brings me a measure of comfort to see it instantly. Whether or not I need it at that moment. Reading it makes me emotional all over again.

I hope this doesn't have an expiration date. It'd be so difficult to lose such a gift, and Troy. Even mentioning it, the idea of it brings hurt. As if it would ever happen. The love I feel for this man, it's immeasurable.

I felt very loved, protected, and wanted.