Dear Troy

Troy,

you used to know my soul very well, but you haven't spoken to it for months, you don't know it's changed, how desperately it's begging you to listen.

out of hope, I genuinely think that tomorrow we will talk. because of everything we've built together and which I don't want to see destroyed.

Tonight I'm going to pray with all my might and all my faith and ask God not to let me spend the rest of my days like this.

I once heard the phrase, "stop being who you were and become who you are"

now where's the instructional manual to this process? I hope its in english. french would be ok too.

Decisions

Can't decide if I should decide on making a decision to decide on making the decision I decided I should make very soon. Hmm.


What exactly am I supposed to say to Troy, "Hello, I'm moving to New Orleans! Maybe because I'm so close ... (what melissa, what?!).

I did some searching on the AMA website, about Post-Bac programs geared towards entrance into medical school. I have decided to stop 'dicking around' professionally speaking. I've always known what I wanted, yet I froze. I questioned my abilities, endurance, uncertainty about finances. All excuses. I'm done with excuses. Most of the programs were from schools I've never heard of or called something retarded like "pre-med certificate". Right, what medical school would take that joke seriously?

I have two options to consider: Tulane & USF. Looking at both of them, I knew Tulane was the one for me. A master's in cell & molecular biology (1 yr) with a 90% rate of getting into medical school (10% on waiting list), 100% into dental school, 100% in Phd.

2 months ago, Troy would be the first person I'd call ... about anything. 2 months ago I would have called him up right away, so excited about this future and the adventure it presents, knowing that Troy would be happy. That was 2 months ago. It's 2 months later right now. Something's happened.

Maybe he won't give a shit. Maybe he'll care once I'm down there. I don't know what to think if he gave us that chance because I'm closer in proximity. It's almost as if the 1000k+ miles weren't worth it to purse us (I'd definitely would feel that way if he never comes up to Detroit). I never would have believed the former sentence if this ... THING of silence hasn't occurred. He could think I'm crazy and stalking him. Jesus.

I'm not mentioning it at all unless the silence has disappeared, and he makes some indication of what he wants from us. I'm moving to New Orleans regardless. Decision made.

women and men

Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, not out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved

the problem

problems of love always bruises the soul